Another double standard!

And so the great intellectuals of our era -- Rosie O'Donnell, Matt Damon, Barbara Streisand, Eva Longoria, Anne Hathaway -- have declared Sarah Palin unfit to be Vice President. Furthermore, they demand to know, Who is Sarah Palin? I mean, she is a newcomer to the national political arena, despite actively participating in state politics since 1992.

Given that she's a newcomer politically, how do we know who she really is? I mean, she's no Barack Obama, who served a couple hundred days in the Senate before announcing his bid for President. And before Obama was elected U.S. Senator, he was a Senator for the State of Illinois. And before that, he was a community organizer! A community organizer, I say! That in and of itself sheds light on Senator Obama. I mean, he was a community organizer and state senator and a recently-elected U.S. Senator, so clearly we all know who he is.

Whereas Sarah Palin, whew, where do I begin? First, she was a city councilwoman (which is certainly no community organizer, poor thing), then she became mayor, and then she became Governor of Alaska! All of this political activity over the past 16 years, which means clearly we have no idea who this woman is. The former American-born-and-raised, high school athlete/beauty pageant winner should really explain herself and why she never served as a community organizer! Oh, the shame! Governor Palin, why, oh why didn't you consider affiliating yourself with a reputable organization like ACORN?

And we all know that once she gets to be Vice President, she will single-handedly overturn Roe v. Wade with no help from the Supreme Court. Because everyone knows that one of the VP's many powers is to meddle in women's reproductive rights. So the threat of losing one's ability to choose for herself is a very real threat, indeed. Be alarmed! I mean, next, she's going to force public schools to decorate their halls with statues of Jesus and then demand that artillery classes be added to the high school curriculum, using the money that she's going to steal from the poor while simultaneously cutting taxes for her buddies in Big Oil.

And then she'll forbid parents to name their children things like "Robert" and "Jane," and instead will force everyone to adopt names such as "Trig," "Willow," "Bristol," "Acorn" (which will please Barack Obama, I'm sure), "Squash", "Moose" and "Tupelo." Oh, the horror! The horror!

And John McCain, the President of the United States, will have no say in this! Again, neither will the U.S. Congress or the Supreme Court. Clearly, it's the Vice President who wields all the power in the federal government.

Meanwhile, Obama will sprinkle our country with beams of sushiny gumdrops, ensuring that all Americans receive health care coverage, while lowering taxes across the board! He will also develop a cure for cancer and patch up the holes in the ozone layer with his trusty environmental tool kit. Finally, he will be the best Commander in Chief that the country has ever known, thus proving that one need not have any knowledge of the military in order to serve as the commander of the country's armed forces.

Clearly, Obama is the right man for the job. And thank goodness we all know who he is!